Updates....

~THOUGHTLESS~
The holidays are over, a new year has begun. I had fun at Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. But, not even the fun or the warmth of being with my family can take away this shadow of nothing that has been surrounding me these past couple months. I thought it was just a phase. Perhaps it was the car accident, and the fear of what could have happened and what would happen, but no, the court date came and went, it could have been terribly worse. We are blessed indeed.

Or maybe the fact that I'm not in school right now, perphaps that's what it is. So, I thought, but no. I feel it deep. I can't write. I sit and stare and think of absolutely nothing. I can't put my finger on it, and that bothers me. I always know what is the matter with me, I analyze, console and overcome whatever is ailing me. I wonder if this is some sort of turning point. Am I shedding some skin? Or am I in a cocoon? I dunno, but whatever the fuck it is, it's irritating the shit out of me, because, I cannot write. I feel like a zombie.

~FAMILY DUDE~
So, yes he's still at it :) I watched Band of Brothers with him, very awesome, a must see. A really inspiring, sad and beautiful movie. Yes, and you should watch it back to back like a disc a day. Well, the times I did watch it with him, he either made popcorn or poured chips into bowls, got me a coke, cuz he knows I like coke :) I must say, I laugh at his odd behaviour, but I'm happy to be spending time with him. We used to be buds before I left. We would always fight when we were kids, he was my bratty brother, afterall, and I in his eyes was his evil big sister. That all changed when my older brother left. It was just me and him. We bonded, he was 13, I was 16. I took him everywhere, introduced him to all my buds. He was my cool little brother; we hung out and stuff. But that all changed when I left because I left him alone. I didn't mean to, and I regret leaving, because I believe that if I never left, he wouldn't have gotten into so much trouble. I would have kept him from that. So, I dunno, maybe he's just getting reaquainted where we left off. It is 2 years today that I've come back and it still does feel like I've stepped out of the Twilight Zone, maybe it feels that way for him too.